God is freakin’ amazing. August 13, 2008

Sometimes when I blog, or write in my personal journal I like to list things out so I can keep my thoughts straight. And that’s what I’m going to do today. Here goes:

• I’m way too hard on myself
• I over-analyze just about everything
• I’m constantly looking at how to become a better Christian, but in the process it just makes me feel worse
• I felt God move last night…and it was AWESOME.

Last night I had what I’m going to call a spritual epiphany. Today I feel so much stronger and better about things in general.

Wanna know something cool? I won against Satan last night. The first 3 bullets I listed had been eating away at me for months. And last night, during a conversation with my boyfriend we were both just at peace at the end of it. I’m not saying that everything is perfect now, and that I won’t stop being hard on myself…but something is definitely different today. God was just such a strong presence last night and when I was talking to him, he was just so clear. And, it was a great feeling for me to relay what God had said to me to Houston. It made me realize that I am doing a good job at my faith, and that what I had been feeling for those few months was Satan attacking me because he knew I was trying to grow.

I’m beginning to realize that I have a calling somehow. Maybe in a Church, maybe in a different part of the world, or maybe with just the people I work with. I’m not quite sure yet, but I’m totally excited to find out what God has planned for me. YAY GOD.

 

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to give you hope and a future.”
-Jeremiah 29:11

Singing in the car. August 11, 2008

I just got back from the beach on Saturday for one last vacation before I move away. I rode with my parents so when I got back home I was desperate to get in my car, drive, and sing along to some favorite songs of mine.
I’m the type of person who you see stopped at a stoplight singing at the top of her lungs and sometimes dancing. It’s awesome, and quite relaxing. Anyways, I was singing along to a song from Jason Mraz, and part of his song has stuck with me.

“Glory God oh God is peeking through the blinds
are we all here standing naked, taking guesses at the actual dates and times?”

Maybe it’s just me, but I’ve been thinking about those lyrics alot.

I don’t even know where to begin. July 28, 2008

First of all. I’m messy. EXTREMELY disorganized at some points–but this is just ridiculous. Who knew preparing to move out of my house would be this chaotic? And the funny part is…this isn’t everything! All that stuff you see in the picture is the only stuff that would fit in my room! I haven’t even attempted to start packing up clothes. I don’t even want to think about that yet. My dorm room should be about the same size as my room here at home so my question is this: where is everything going to go?!

27 days and 19ish hours and counting. July 22, 2008

As the date of my first annual “move out of my house and into my dorm” day approaches, I’m finding myself growing very anxious.  Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m totally stoked! But, there’s this thing called comfort zone and I don’t like leaving that. Here at home, I’m surrounded by my family, my boyfriend is only 5 minutes away and my church is 15 minutes away. I know UNCG isn’t that far of a drive, but for a year of living away from home for at least a couple weeks at a time, it’s getting kind of scary to think about.

This summer FLEW by. I don’t have much of anything for my dorm yet…(I’m going to have to work on my procrastination skills as the school year approaches)
I can’t wait for the experience, the workload however…I’m pretty sure I could live without that.

Anyways, as I’m rambling about this new experience coming up I realize that no one really reads this…maybe that’ll change one day. But, for now it’s okay. I mean, I kind of just like writing everything out haha.

I think I’m getting ready to go exercise. And that, my friends, is another blog for another day.

 

peace&love

hello, wordpress world. :) July 21, 2008

this is my first post on wordpress! i wanted somewhere to write, and as you’ll see with my first post i’ve been thinking about this one a lot.

 

i have something on my heart. i am yearning to be more connected with God.  i feel like i say this all the time but thats only bc i feel like i keep slipping away. i still talk to him, and i feel him speaking back. but i think i’m actually almost aching to worship. and, i know i can worship anywhere. sing in my car, in my room that sort of thing. but, what i want is some in your face, on your knees, prophetic worship. i haven’t seen or felt that in so long.

over the past couple of days that i’ve been praying i asked God what i needed to change in my life to make it better–and we did go over a couple things. haha. but i want more. i feel kind of selfish bc i should be giving my all to God and not asking for much, right? but, i sooo want to feel his spirit wash over me again. it is one of the most amazing feelings to finally realize how close God is to you at that moment. i guess what i want is that. i know that God is always with me, always always always. but, what i want is to just feel him wash over me and feel his power and “awesomeness” fill me up. i just don’t know how to do that. unless i go back to youthquake. but, i dont want to go there for just their worship bc all i get out of yq is their worship. and, i love how there are so many people there who claim they’re “on fire” for God, but its so crowded and i dont know hardly anyone anymore and so i feel out of my comfort zone, and when that happens i don’t just let go and be myself with God. and i don’t know how to fix that either. haha.

but, whatever. i’ve vented. i’m starting to ramble so i’ll stop. but i must admit, it did feel good to let all of this out

peace&love